| | when i was young, i used to live a life i like!
i like my friends, i like my school, i like myself!
but unluckily, i kinda had, what id like to call, "a series of unfortunate events"!
when i was in grade school, up till 2nd year high school, life was good!
life didn't give much pain in the ass!
people loved me for who i am, and i loved them in back!
the only thing that's making life hard for me is my annoying, unruly, untamed, freaking wavy hair!
now, my world seemed to have turned up side down!
although my hair isn't that beautiful the way i want it to look, its a lot more ok now than it was before!
the things that use to be fine back then,
seems to be making a toll on me now!
i loathe my school, i loathe the situation i am now with my peers in my school, i loathe myself!!
when i was 3rd yr high school, a lil controversy sprung in my previous school and i had to transfer!
i think it was because my dad didn't want me to study in a so-called "christian" school lacking with values.
i was convinced by his words, so i transfered!
i transfered to a school with a nice educational standard! but, on my first day there, i cried so much cuz i was so culture shocked!
people there were so much different from the people in my old school! people kasi from my old school has breeding, most of them come from well-to-do families,, and they have class! in my new school, the stereotype was more of the unclassy type! so ang hirap mag adjust!
my first year in that school was rough! a lot of them didnt like me because i was maarte daw,, i was even referred to as a bitch coz one time i wore mini skirt!
so since i am a stupid person who wanted social acceptance i adapted stuffs from them, and slowly, i became like them!
totoo pla ung saying nah, once you put a fresh tomato in a box full of rotten ones, it will spoil either!
i talk like trash,, i act like trash!!
so after two years of shit,, i graduated! and off i go to college!!
college was more horrible for me!!
same situation,, just worse group of people!
they're dull- witted people! they dont know what the word "slacker" means! they are big fans of captain barbel, eat bulaga and all those SHIT!!
and i think i can say,, you cant blame me for being like this!! for feeling the way im feeling!! since i was young till i was in 2nd year,, i was brought up to act as an educated person and not like some out of school youth like these people im with now!!
im desperate for someone to pull me out of this quicksand!!
i feel like im out of people to care! i feel like ive never made deep connections with my so-called friends because time did not permit us and we had to be separated for quite sometime! now i find myself , hating the world for being so mean! for making me feel isolated alone here in the dark! without anyone to cling on to! i just LOATHE life! i loathe myself! i blame myself for everything, but i know its not all my fault!! but i feel responsibe for everything thats been going on!! so blame me all you want now!! i would even let you kill me if you would!
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| | Posted 1/18/2007 11:37 AM - 12 Views - 4 eProps - 2 comments
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